Nick Moody & His Core At 3:10 Am

i was reading my 1st post back in 2008
and i think now i have a reason to right in this hot night
lets see what improved and degraded
doing a retrospective of my esotericism
ok so the reason i wrote these poem/songs
was because Charles Hamilton showed me being weird was a gift
to embrace my weirdness like the Loch Ness and keep people impressed
but i was still young in my mind just trying to understand the world
and tap into my hidden wisdom
i was working at Tim Hortons making doughnuts and fucking sluts in the backstore
i even started really loving the woman i call now my Karen
bought my 1st car before i even started writing but it ended 48 hours later

was more emotional then usual maybe because this blog contained my soul
started really learning American culture and my horniness level was going above average
met some bloggers who liked my thoughts and commented without hesitation
actually re reading my comment section i miss these peoples they acknowledge my cool
they kept me going without even knowing it
i miss Dominique and Brittany
i hope if one day you come back to my lair you see your names your eyes light up like flairs
i will never forget your word of improvements and determination in me continuing my writing
fast forward to when my own domain got very personal
at 1st it was a way to vent the excess stress the world projects
but now its a sanctuary for my own life and misery


more heartbreaks and lies in 2009
where i really started coming into my own and played with knives
made a pack with the devil he helped me thought my struggles
started losing my grip on reality slowly drugs induced my mentality
didnt have the moniker of Moody but in a year my tears would name me
never showed this to my family for me displaying was blasphemy
how could they understand that there grandson or nephew was born dead inside
i think my mom found out about it but she knows im the devils child so its ok
and never wanted to promote it i felt like if you find this your destined to understand the consequences
of reading and trying to comprehend the meanings of my late night venting
but one chick actually took so much interest she commented every text
now we hardly talk but i know she still fiends for sex and cunnilingus she didnt get
i could be her friend but shes too depraved for me to appreciate
+ she tarnished my already nasty reputation half the chicks in her zone know im a whore
male prostitute that will do you so good your body will be his food
now its whatever shes in her world and the relationship is down and under

now were in 2010
my life is more abstract then cooked crack
the whole chemistry of making and baking
brought me to how i am every morning
a self-destructive individual who doesnt know whats normal
ive indulge in so much these past years that my tears could be drank like a beer
the salty taste is my sadness mixing with my happiness
and the little hint of melancholy for leaving my beautiful Rivers Of  Prairies
and the endless fornicating i endured while i missed her for countless hours
im a narcissist and tragically flawed i wish i was above my emotions
but sadly i cant even comprehend my own intentions
i used to cry alot when i started this blog
now my tears are mostly girls cum that sting me hard
i want to love someone and not be done in a few months
but i smoke too much and the only exercise i get is in the bed
i love women but i hate myself so every female who loves me is deemed a fool
and slowly lose my respect
im sorry to all of you ladies i hurt in the process of finding myself
my evolution is still a very slow process ...

Nick Moody & His Mind At 10:33 pm

just a little inserting into my world of rhyming
last friday my cousin invited me to this place
the environment was imminent in my releasing my creativity
smoked almost a pound with 3 guys that were born in sound
i never knew in 2010 people still were down to earth and digging gold in the dirt
but these 3 caballeros had the dro and beats to make you vomit and illuminate your ears
discussed everything from politics to chicks to incredible music
and went harmonically to every song in there library
next time we spit bars lets go so far the earth is a distant flirt
were heading to mars with so much weed the color red will be obsolete
green pastures sonorousness makes us exhale our stress
and were so good at doing it im writing this homage

Nick Moody & His Mind At 9:56pm

why after last night's fight you had to call
this orgy of pain , love and lust is starting to bore
i never called you a whore in a derogatory way
only when you fuck me and dont pay
so 1 week without you is okay
when you come back will see what changed
how things will transpire forever
just remember you ran again i cant promise compromise
you kissed me last night injecting the last of your venom
into my alcoholic and intoxicated system
i want to touch you right now
but your off somewhere far from my arms
but really i dont feel anything i wish i cared because its you my dear
you love chasing money i never thought you could be this materialistic
im not rich but if currency has to be a reason for leaving me
then when you come back you better give me a fat stack
ill be your side fuck until we get bored and instigate physical attacks
i know you well woman remember i can read your optics's
thats why you cant say goodbye before making me lick

Nick Moody & His Heart At 9:56 pm

lol your leaving again ?
after such a short stay i imagined its because now im insane
or im taking to much place in your brain
leaving you brain dead when you walked the 1st step to ring my bell
well what can i do ? should i fight for what is right
fuck that im tired of attacking and retreating like a failed army
i rather put my arms in the air and pray an arrow doesnt pierce my eyes
sadly i cant use Kleenex anymore to wipe the tears
only a beer bottle already wet from being left in the cold
can mascaraed my facade to hide my facial expressions
which varies from moment from sad to glad , pissed off to fuck off
all of the above will surely manifest themselves in a couple of minutes
when i have to see you for the last time , the last alien invasion in my mind
now what is about to happen? self-destruction all over again
this scenario is so funny its not even mental
the 1st time you left me it was on a Sunday morning in front of your house
now its on a Sunday night in front of your house again
from having sweaty sex in my pool to leaving me for a fool
how come i still think you cool ...
maybe because i respect how cruel you are
and how you made me drool hard

Nick Moody & His Mind At 11:19 am

so being moody has its limit
like Karen telling Hank to quit smoking cigarettes and dank
she told me that me inebriated was out dated
i had all my teenage years to experience with alcoholic beverages
now shes claiming i drink more in the morning then evening
lady , please stop overthinking
im more sober then the last nigger with a beer near the intersection
+ i drink when im in lust and need something to calm the nerves
weed is trees , alcohol is ethanol
and im not an alcoholic actually far from it
remember last week when we were sipping pool side
and got high in the lagoon while looking at the sky
you didnt mind us being drunk
and me falling asleep between your thighs
just to realise you had another bottle in front of my eyes
anyway
im going to listen to you , im not whipped

shes bewitching when shes talking shit
so i could probably touch something while im getting dissed

Nick Moody & His Mind At 8:31pm

shes mad i had a casual conversation with her friend
because im inconvenient in every instance
and im weirdo who's stuck on fuck's and sluts
she's a church girl who prays for the worlds well being
while im being a amusement with a slight perversion to entertain these Haitians
so there was no way for me to play in her playground like in kindergarten
i have to mature and keep my hands off her
+ the lady of my life is acting tough saying im a turn off
i cant act normal in any social situations now im invading her social interactions
i blame the aeromancy for the symbiosis i experienced last evening
but i digress the woman i adore is pissed
20 minutes before writing she told me to keep my paws off her cat
like a dog with no leach i dont hesitate i jump in and start to lick
ugh! were not even together but im already in danger
so i promised i would control my sexual impulsions
and lust her tits and ass in silence
but you cant blame me if we cross eyes

Nick Moody & His Mind At 3:43 am

finally fixed my DSL problem
fuck! i can write everyday in every ways
so many things to say
going to exercise my word plays
because this heat wave brings me back to the old days
where i was always hot for joints and midnight fucks
now i feel high just glaring at the clear sky
no not high like hallucinations and physical exhaustion
but this inflaming sensation is even a little too much for a devil's son
no worries my pool is ready for cooling off this body

Nick Moody & His Heart At 3:11 am

my absence cant be justified
my mind body and soul was isolated into her senses
once again i breathed the same air as she did
touched the most emotional of things
i still cant believe im gazing into your eyes at night
caressing your face trying to stop my urge of licking your lips
back in our good days
i would dare say i had a feeling of being exclusive

but the horizon you displayed bought me to seclusion
for the 2nd time you were my midnight sunlight
pierced a hole into my dark soul
it burned at 1st but now its painfully exiting
the tears and sorry's were pouring like regrets then confessing  of deadly sins
still paroxysm is a substance thats in my living existence
bought me so close to the end of the road
but you swore to never leave me again
and i promised i would stop being labeled a whore
i dont regret opening my front door
i feel like im still yours
now im getting less bored