Nicro & His Head at 3:30pm ( Day 9)

i dont know why im happy
not happy haha go crazy happy
but more of a serein sence of happyness
meaning my introverted inner self is smilling
for many reasons
maybe the new year will be better then the last
i say better personnaly not socially
because socially 0.8 was great
a black president
thats the only thing i remember
blame short term memory loss
but my long term is upgrading
anyway
for me
2008 was wack as hell
the last post i did said what i needed to be said
simply i didnt feel like writing grimey
but this is my personal space
(wish i had one)
but its free so let my rage fill this blank page

last night while i was heading for work all relaxed
this wonderful women asked me if was emo
i told her yes but not mainstream
she screamed of disbelief
looking at this black dude with a cut in his hand
she wondered
is he really black emo ?
left without a final word
but told her go chek out my blog
maybe she will understand the memo
or when she sees me next thursday
we will discuss the effect of my defection
to this dark and twisted mindset
from the happy go-lucky guy with no order
like a set without intellectual construction

next stop the familly house
up in another suburb
saw all i vow to hate
but was it the festivitis
was it the act of forgiveness
did i feel bad for past actions
or did i regret my reactions
i still cannot piece this puzzle
the yearning of a familly called me
maybe i needed love from the one that always gave it to nicki
or was it just a manipulation
to be in a good vision for this new year's horizon
i dont really have an answer for my dissagrement
with my 5 sences + the spider sence
i felt like a pawn of my lying self
i died a little bit inside knowing others were happy
but they wont ever know that unless they track
this blog ,print it , read it and destroy my art
but they wont go that far
they already know im a thinking time bomb
fuck the match just step on my path
and this bomb will slowly evaporate a gas
of nitrous oxide
you wont die
just die of laughter, reminds you of the joker :)
im that lethal with morals and ideals
but people that FUCK UP my inner peace
makes me wonder
if i was alone would i be writing on this blog
of course not i would be on the bus with the pad
just writing random notes listening to the fakepod