no idea why im coming back to this red and black Arial format
maybe its my sobriety makes me reminisce about my existence
earlier i was checking old Gmail messages thinking how much i failed
how i was unhappy but still living
now look at me
no bud smoking no fiend fucking no nothing
well thats a lie got a chick i met a couple months ago
she's chill pop pills and love to talk shit
but she cant heal this individual
and she's kinda of mental so there's reciprocity
i find her to be very adorable , bold and cold
at the same time she makes the pain subside
oh and she gets high
really really high , so high she glides over the sky
but whats the point if im not smoking joints
either way she's okay makes my day go by smoothly
beautiful and skinny
lips that i love to kiss

Nick Moody & His Mind At 00:44 Am

my stomach hurts so bad
too much weed and munchies
seriously i feel like an alien
barely breathing but something's growing
like maybe im pregnant
with non human infants
or maybe im still high
having a psychotic episode while i fly

Nicky Tramp & His Mind At 1:18 pm

i was explaining to my brother
that the whole physiology of love is over
i cant do it anymore
my feelings arent perceiving anything
im literally staring at abysses
internally useless
and recently sexless
all because my psyche's a mess
filled with regrets and joint ashes
i really want a girlfriend but i cant
im scared of loving again

Nick & His Mind At 00:31 Am

even if i pretend to take leisure time out of my mind
thats a lie to myself and to my life
im still over-thinking overdoing the drugs in my pockets
still having loveless sex
now with a woman who's twice my age minus a couple days
dont worry she's not the cure to my pain
but the placebo effect keeps me erect
intercourse is okay after she takes me out for pancakes
but nonetheless when im not engaging in sexual congress
i start missing my ex
and the love that i lost because of lust and fuck ups
my friends keep telling me to get over her
she's gone and she's probably having sex with another nigger
but i cant she was flawless to my fetishes

As the light from my bulb is slowly going numb,
i need a light to feel somekind of fright , 
i had intercourse with night and never called her back, 
maybe thats why i sleep on the grass with my bare ass , 
i live with monsters but they never pay rent , 
ive spent alot of my time to chase away these demons ,
but they wont hear it for them im there 2nd hell , 
my mind settles them with warmth and lust , 
like im on the street corner reminiscing of a slut , 
sometimes i fell and they helped me back up now they stare at me and wish me luck , 
they dont care there mind are elsewhere concentrating of helping themselves and there selfish intentions , 
and my heart is pierced from spears dripped in toxins ,
so antidotes wont save my soul , only burn more holes