Nick Moody & His Mind at 8:48pm

Time is irrelevant

i may take thousand of years to become relevant
or stay an incompetent peasant 

or maybe i rather just stay here and dream of you
trail your existence to find meaning or truth

to be honest i dont care
i never did
its all about you 

this spectacle of a life 

Nick Moody & His Mind at 9:17 Pm

i do miss this piece of shit
and i say this with respect to this list
listing my emotions on a daily basis
was the most fun i had while i exist
i just like looking at it
maybe im a little selfish with my shit
but i just had to converse with my blogger
i am still a sad nigger
smoking my herb and shitting turds
i still love her
i still lost her
i still miss her
pain is part of my flame
burns in lust and in vain

no idea why im coming back to this red and black Arial format
maybe its my sobriety makes me reminisce about my existence
earlier i was checking old Gmail messages thinking how much i failed
how i was unhappy but still living
now look at me
no bud smoking no fiend fucking no nothing
well thats a lie got a chick i met a couple months ago
she's chill pop pills and love to talk shit
but she cant heal this individual
and she's kinda of mental so there's reciprocity
i find her to be very adorable , bold and cold
at the same time she makes the pain subside
oh and she gets high
really really high , so high she glides over the sky
but whats the point if im not smoking joints
either way she's okay makes my day go by smoothly
beautiful and skinny
lips that i love to kiss

Nick Moody & His Mind At 00:44 Am

my stomach hurts so bad
too much weed and munchies
seriously i feel like an alien
barely breathing but something's growing
like maybe im pregnant
with non human infants
or maybe im still high
having a psychotic episode while i fly

Nicky Tramp & His Mind At 1:18 pm

i was explaining to my brother
that the whole physiology of love is over
i cant do it anymore
my feelings arent perceiving anything
im literally staring at abysses
internally useless
and recently sexless
all because my psyche's a mess
filled with regrets and joint ashes
i really want a girlfriend but i cant
im scared of loving again

Nick & His Mind At 00:31 Am

even if i pretend to take leisure time out of my mind
thats a lie to myself and to my life
im still over-thinking overdoing the drugs in my pockets
still having loveless sex
now with a woman who's twice my age minus a couple days
dont worry she's not the cure to my pain
but the placebo effect keeps me erect
intercourse is okay after she takes me out for pancakes
but nonetheless when im not engaging in sexual congress
i start missing my ex
and the love that i lost because of lust and fuck ups
my friends keep telling me to get over her
she's gone and she's probably having sex with another nigger
but i cant she was flawless to my fetishes

As the light from my bulb is slowly going numb,
i need a light to feel somekind of fright , 
i had intercourse with night and never called her back, 
maybe thats why i sleep on the grass with my bare ass , 
i live with monsters but they never pay rent , 
ive spent alot of my time to chase away these demons ,
but they wont hear it for them im there 2nd hell , 
my mind settles them with warmth and lust , 
like im on the street corner reminiscing of a slut , 
sometimes i fell and they helped me back up now they stare at me and wish me luck , 
they dont care there mind are elsewhere concentrating of helping themselves and there selfish intentions , 
and my heart is pierced from spears dripped in toxins ,
so antidotes wont save my soul , only burn more holes

I have never been good at explaining clearly how i felt about you , sometimes i thought
I was in in a lust other times in love but even if my feelings could of never been revolved
I am sure from the deepest part of my heart that i miss you
That looking in your eyes was the most profound , intense and painful feeling i've felt
A boy like me never deserved to be in your presence
The essence of a beautiful woman in love with a self destructive addict
Was something i could never understand but i never objected
But i wanted to stop me from hurting you
Im sorry
There is no way for me to apologize for everything
I love you
I will die loving you

Nick Moody & His Mind At 11:07 Am

how do i feel ?
why does my heart still feels like steel
liquid nitrogen couldnt even flash-freeze
missing her cant even be a concern
i was burned before birth
marked as wanderer on this earth
never finding anything forever
its not even sad
its only a feeling i've always had

Nick Moody & His Mind At 6:23 pm

addicted to Miami-esque beats
im wondering where the fuck is the heat
my balls are frozen on a daily basis
and my brain's not responding
im fucking tripping
but its not that bad i had worst
where you were literally stuck in your house
looking outside with big eyes thinking is this a lie
is the snow covering the swing and slide ?
so im complaining for nothing
but shit its a turn off

Nick & His Mind At 8:16 Am

as im being blessed by the herb essence
i have to move on cant stay idle in the middle of the game
getting killed by CPU's is abuse
and im tired of getting used and bruised
so time for some drastic changing
actually , morphing is the proper term for this occasion
cant keep overthinking every instant
while being impulsive at every instance
i have to balance my energy like my yīn yang ring
i want to go back to just smiling and chilling
playing It Was A Good Day at 6 in the morning

Nick Moody & His Mind At 6:42 Am

this demon was caressing my skin with her nails full of sin
because of this soothing feeling
i began to lose consciousness with a grin
my memories started to take the form of spirits
my lust , my dark thoughts and my crushes
all glared and passed judgement
at the sight of this entity
that lives of the night and uses women's tears as water and beer
as apparitions of this distorted mind started to get wild
i had to take a deep look into my good side
and summon the angel that made me fly
her beautiful wings flapping the obscurity out of my vicinity
suppressing the evil chakra in a white bra
and as i was freed from my needs
she turned around and shot me
until i couldnt bleed
as my eyes were pouring out blood and tears
i wondered what pushed her to make me disappear
no answer its time to go
but atleast i get a peak

Nick Moody & his heart at 6:08pm

Its my birthday
But it feels like everyday
No returning from my wrong ways
Still getting blazed
Now only purple haze
Displeased by my woman's leave
Wishing for peace
But now that my smile wont cheese
Im beginning to see my emotial decrease
I want her , im on my knees
Stupidly i left her to be
For one last time , im sorry
I will love you until i perish

Nick Moody & His Mind At 2:31 Am

how much of an asshole can i be ?
i can never let anything be
my needs go above all else even she's
maybe thats why trying to be , was a dead feeling
how weird i feel like i lost the last crop of love i cultivated
you smoked my love and didnt puff puff pass with your fat ass
now the dust is gathering and the ashes are scattered in pieces
but there is an abnormality
i dont have any emotions anymore
you were my medicine when you were next to me
the drug that got me soooooooooo hooked on life
now i feel as sober as non-alcoholic beer for 5 dollars
my inner whore was controlled by your inner thoughts
you were the diving board for my future actions in this boring universe
now im in the water but i cant get out
something is pulling me in trying to rip the flesh of my skin
the pain and loneliness manifested themselves as sharks
which devoured my body in the dark

Nick Moody & His Mind At 8:00 Am

Reporting live from her bee hive
We were buzzing then ensued the fucking
Her body was potent like pollen
Didnt sniff but was attracted to her pheromones
Those eyes brought me to another zone
One where her lips , tits and clit
Tasted as sweet as honeycombs
Lol

Nick Moody & His Mind At 4:21 am

why cant i be in peace
my heart fights a forever battle
it burns constantly and yearns for less warmth
its so weak but still so strong
nothing is right , it should be afraid but its not

he looks at it with eyes closed and palms opened
its ready to fight until everything dies
but before he goes he will be doused in is own inferno
the accumulated pain will manifest as the war progresses
will let him at least die as a similar fashion as Noble Six
but he fought for the liberation of Reach
my heart couldn't even make it to a stable handle
as he takes his last breath his regrets start to manifest
the tear that shed burned and agonized his flesh
as the last war cry was yelled
all that was left was the kiss she left on his skin
still scorching hot and burning his battered remains
im sorry
take my soul away
burn me baby

Nick Moody & His Heart At 10:18 am

the irrational thoughts of separation
again crosses my mind
its so absurd im giggling while writing
but with a little logic the end is diagnosed
the burning feeling in my heart is extinguishing
my flame and infernal internal feeling
my addiction yet my cure
the woman i would crawl on the fucking floor
i miss your sincere smile in my regards
your all i desire
your lips bring me warmth
I LOVE YOU FOREVER 

Nick Moody & His Mind At 3:22pm

im sorry im a little late
my day and night cycle had to been regulated
i gathered enough chakra to survive without sleeping
zombie DNA got spliced into my cells like Cell back in the days
so in everyway im ready to face your faces with smile and embrace
except when her anger turns her little visage upside down
told me i had the face of a liar - that i turned her off
using my weakness and my sayings in negative meanings
her trust for me depleted reached a friendship level that im hating
but my love for her is made tough
and your melancholy has some tendency`s of turning me on
im sorry im just acting like a needy baby again
but for the sake of this personal conversation
we`re suppose to go out tommorow evening
and your choosing everything
your taking me out - less then a date
im anxious to see what you got in store for me
but if its alot of socializing and name calling
then im ready for next morning

Nick Moody & His Mind At 7:16 am

as im steadily deciding on what trees to roll
im visualizing my tat just attacking me
no its not an animal or something more feral
its a representation of all my sensations towards you
my joy , my anger , my lust
reasons why your divine in my eyes
my personal prize
you shine in the moonlight
makes my heart go so fast
i wish it could last after we die
i made you crazy im sorry
but my love for you was immense and random
from cursing you out for kicking my ass in video games
to resting my head late night watching a movie in the dark
you are a piece of art

Nick Moody & His Mind At 2:43 pm

tommorow im getting a tattoo of a _____
no idea what im going to do
i want something really fucked up
that goes well with myself and looks hot
+ im going with her and were doing it together
she doesnt have a clue just like i do
were going to randomly wander in a tattoo parlor
but i know something is that tommorow evening
if my body has to bear another symbol
not counting the one that manifests during my sleep
i want her to look me deep in the eyes
and wonder why i had to get a tattoo after i made her cry
am i doing it for myself or for something else ?
do i have motives that wont be explained until the unveiling
of what i tatted on my skin ?